There are so many addictions, and each has its own crippling effects. I don’t smoke, do illegal or legal drugs, and I don’t drink. Yet, I have an addiction like everyone else out there. I’ve tried to conquer it many different ways, but each time, I have failed. My addiction is food. Creamy food, cheesy food, ooey gooey drizzled in caramel food. I love food. Now I have never dealt with other addictions, but from my experience food is a hard addiction to break, I would think it is the hardest. We need food to sustain life. We can stop eating, but eventually we starve, and could possibly starve to death. I’ve gone through different phases with food. I’ve done the starvation thing, the eat it all and barf it up later, and even the calculate every single calorie and burn everything off kind of thing. Each time my body suffered. Eventually, I just gave up and gave into it. If I were to guess I would say that I was eating around 3000 calories a day. WAY TOO MANY!
How did this come about you ask? Well, I’m the second oldest of five children, and in our home, we ate what was made or we didn't eat at all. I have two brothers, and any person male or female knows that teenage boys can put food away! So, often times I was still hungry after a meal. I got used to it, until I moved out on my own and I asked myself one day why I was still hungry, I mean I didn’t have to save food for anyone else. So I ate. I promised myself that I wouldn’t have this weird relationship with food that I did when I was a teenager. I was a WOMAN, and I was going to get what I wanted. Unfortunately, everything I wanted got me 60 pounds heavier.
Food is always on my mind. I mean always, but it’s not on it the same way that it was before. Now it’s how many burpees would this cost me? How many squats? How many sets of stairs? Now don’t get me wrong, there are days when all I can think about is the warm gooey center of a freshly baked chocolate chunk cookie, or the sweet and salty caramel dripping off of a warm fudgy brownie. AH here comes the fat girl again, just thinking about these things gets my mouth watering. There is a reason for that. Addiction. Food companies have put a lot of money into finding chemicals that are going to get us hooked. Can you eat just one Oreo? What about those Doritos?
See, there are all those chemicals in the ingredient labels and they use the scientific names so that we don’t know what’s going into our bodies. They have found the perfect cocktail, that gets those brain cells excited and wanting more. These are called exictotoxins. They get the brain cells so excited that they explode, and then you want more. Just like a cocaine addict, one fix is never enough.
Now, I haven’t quite figured out how to reverse this damage, and I honestly doubt there is a way. But I have found it’s easier to avoid these things. My rule of thumb is, if I can’t stop at one, then it’s better to avoid it completely. That’s hard, because it’s a habit, like after a hard day at work one might reach for a beer or glass of wine. I would reach for a cookie, or brownie. Okay, I’m a sweets gal, you got me. Any way, Your body and brain are used to you connecting the bad day with the reliever (sweets or beer) and it thinks, that is how to heal a bad day. Addictions are nasty things, and the hardest part about breaking one is breaking the bad habit.
I still have bad days, but I’ve learned not to beat myself up over it. I honestly think that the guilt is the heaviest part. Call me crazy, but my guilt is what gives me those extra pounds. I used to think “Oh no I screwed up, Oh well, I might as well indulge now.” That’s dangerous. But I’m getting off track. My point is this, I have to have a motivator. Now I have many. Which is good, or at least I think. I have visual motivators, and mental. My visual motivators are some of the following; the size smaller swimsuit that is hanging on my closet door ( I see it everyday, and it reminds me that I have only that one suit), the pinterest board of fit women, and the AWESOME women at the gym, with those rock hard arms, or those toned legs. This may sound weird, but the other day I was watching one of my friends do shoulder presses and as I saw her rippling shoulder muscles, I may have drooled at little. No, not like that, but at the thought that I could be like that too. Each type of motivation helps to keep me in line. When I want an extra cookie, I’ll go to my room and look at that suit. Each person has their own way to overcome an obstacle. I have a friend (one of those gym rats I was telling you about) that says she posts a picture of a woman with a physique that she aspires to have, on her fridge. This is great thinking! I still have this addiction, but I’m learning to control it. I’m learning my triggers, and how to avoid them, and when I can’t avoid them, how to substitute for something healthier. SO, enough talking, I’m going to show you.
So here are a few of the many motivational posts on my pinterest board.
Go out, and find something that motivates you. It will help you a great deal in breaking your addiction and staying focused on your goals. Good luck, you can do it. Now press onward!
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